Sliding Doors – We’re Coming Home Today!

It’s Wednesday 22nd April and as I type this, in a parallel world, we’d be on the Chunnel right now heading back home after three months touring Spain. We’d be looking forward to seeing our family and friends again, and with this good weather a trip to the local beer garden would certainly have been in order. If you’ve seen the film Sliding Doors, you’ll understand my multiple worlds. If you haven’t seen it, it’s actually quite a decent film if you need something to watch.

In the world I’m currently in something happened in China at the back end of last year, a small something which completely changed the world. Not so much the butterfly effect, but a bat effect if reports are believed. Due to that ‘bat something’, we’ve been home over a month, two weeks of which were spent in self isolation and more than two weeks ‘locked down’ meaning we only go out for food shopping once a week and for exercise once a day.

I love running first thing in the morning, getting up and out there before breakfast. Partly so it’s out of the way, but mainly because it leaves me feeling good all day. Now I have to weigh up when to go; going first thing it’s mentally hard to shut the gates to the outside world knowing I can’t see it again until tomorrow, but if I go out later I feel lethargic and a bit rubbish all day. However I am still grateful that I can go out at all, millions in the UK and entire countries don’t have that privilege right now.

Overall I’m feeling more positive compared to when I wrote my last blog post a couple of weeks ago. I have my down days, aren’t we all at the moment? However, now I’ve settled into a bit of a routine and am keeping myself busy, the whole idea of being locked down seems easier. I’d planned to write a timetable to give me a routine to stick to, but I’ve found that I haven’t needed to. I am avoiding excessive news and have managed to call time on my non-stop scrolling through the BBC website, now choosing where and when I take in the news. Even Boris o’clock, the UK government daily briefing, isn’t a ‘must see’ fixture these days. I’m reading a lot more, aiming to spend more time with my Kindle in my hand than my phone, enjoying both novels and personal development books (you can currently read thousands of books and magazines for free for 2 months with Kindle Unlimited).

I have however been keeping an eye on what is happening in Europe. With Italy, Spain and France ahead of us in cases and lock downs it’s a bit like peering into another possible world, our future. Unfortunately while it looks good in terms of restrictions starting to be lifted a little, the prospect of getting overseas in our motorhome later this year is looking slim with France saying its borders may remain shut until September, Spain is making similar suggestions and the Czech Republic suggests it may seal itself off for a year. Of course, that’s way off in the future at the moment, but to keep my mind sane I’ve written off any travel plans abroad for this year. If they do happen it would be a bonus, but if not I’m prepared for it.

Zagan is SORNed in his storage place and will probably be that way for quite a while yet. Hopefully once we get a bit more freedom from lock down, we’ll be able to go and start a big list of maintenance and repair jobs we have on him. For now, he’s a time capsule of how we left him following our race home and while I’m pretty sure we got all the perishable food out of him, I’m sure our noses will tell us as soon as we step back in him.

We’re both completing the Covid symptom tracker each day, along with two and half million other people, in the hope that it helps a little to work out how many people have had it. I’ve also signed up to a study being done by our local university into the effects of lock down on mental health and stress. I’ve filled out an initial questionnaire and Jay took great pleasure in cutting a sample of my hair – it’s normally me who cuts his hair. After 12 weeks I fill out another questionnaire and take another hair sample then send them off. It’s great to be able to do this little thing, which will hopefully be enable scientists learn how this is affecting everyone.

We’re continuing to help others on our street and another street as part of a Mutual Aid Group that has been formed in our town. Things have been quiet with the street group, probably because we’re so close to the shops and people value their independence and want to shop for themselves, however they know we’re here if they need us. We’re also shopping for Jay’s parents each week, which is becoming easier as I get to know what they like, the challenge now is to find when the queues for the shops are at their shortest.

I’m still finding going to the shops to be a stressful experience, I can feel my anxiety increase as when I know I need to go, or shopping day gets closer. I used to love mooching around the supermarket, but now it’s a stressful chore, trying to dodge people, checking your distance from others, feeling guilty for picking something up and then putting it back, and queueing for ages sometimes with people walking past far too close. When I get home I wash my hands, but all of me feels dirty for an hour or so until I’ve calmed down. The calming seems to be mainly gained by eating chocolate, which is not good but I tell myself it’s better than booze.

Back in the parallel Covid-free world, we’d probably be nearing the Dartford crossing by now, crawling along in a queue of traffic, and Jay would be getting increasingly nervous about his 50 mile run in Scotland! In the real world traffic levels are similar to those in the 1950’s, so queues are a thing of the past for the time being, and fuel is super cheap. Every cloud has a silver lining, if only we could get out in Zagan and take advantage of it.

Ju x