It’s Been a While, But We’re Away

Our poor motorhome’s been mothballed since last summer, gradually getting greener while sat stationary in storage at a farm a mile from our home. He’s been serviced and MOT’d, and we’ve checked on him from time to time to ensure his innards weren’t being munched by mice. Winter eased into spring. Feeling a little ashamed at his state one wind-blown day we drove him to the farm’s washing area and with numb hands scrubbed him back to a vague off-white.

Like all vehicles, I guess, these vans are designed to be used. Despite all the usual mothballing precautions, stuff seizes, shrinks and decays over the long, cold months. This remains unseen until the day we finally break loose of our housebound lives, and reveals itself the day we use each of the van’s facilities. That day came on Thursday, when we flung all we needed back into the van and pointed him south, heading for the motorhome aire at Canterbury.

Heading down the M1 in Zagan, named after the town in Poland near where The Great Escape took place
We’re off! Heading down the M1 in Zagan, named after the town in Poland near where The Great Escape took place
The popular motorhome aire at the park 'n' ride about a mile from central Canterbury
The popular motorhome aire at the park ‘n’ ride about a mile from central Canterbury

A night at Canterbury, surrounded by lots of other campers, left us fresh for a mid-day ferry across a thankfully calm Channel from Dover to Calais, and onward down the empty motorway to the seaside aire at Équihen-Plage in Northern France. At €11 a night we’d a sea view, steps down to the beach and shops a short walk away, fantastic.

The 'being chucked down a bowling alley' sensation at a queue-less Dover
The ‘being chucked down a bowling alley’ sensation at a queue-less Dover
The beach at Équihen-Plage, just south of Bolougne
The beach at Équihen-Plage, just south of Bolougne
Motorhome Aire Equihan Plage France
The motorhome aire at Equihen-Plage is perched on cliffs with a launch site for parapunting in the field next to it.

But before we get too carried away, back to that stuff breaking! On this trip we’d found the cab windows were both stuck, not so handy for handing passports to border guards. They eventually slid open with brute force. The relatively new stereo is very dead. Could just be a fuse somewhere, we dunno and made do with our phones and a bluetooth speaker. And the kitchen water tap sprung a leak at Canterbury, dumping water behind the cabinets and puddling on the floor by the fridge.

Man launches himself into the innards of his motorhome
Man launches himself into the innards of his motorhome

It’s in an awkward spot, accessible from beneath with a fair bit of contortion via a cupboard. We removed the old tap (breaking it some more in the process) and wedged the pipe ends shut so we could still use the bathroom tap. Ju emailed some ‘camping car’ dealers in France with a photo of it. One replied to say they had it in stock so we headed over this morning and, with the usual strangling of the French language, we eventually bought it.

The OurTour Tradition of starting a trip at a French motorhome dealer
The OurTour Tradition of starting a trip at a French motorhome dealer

£137 lighter (it’s identical to the one we had, so an official Hymer part I guess), I opted to install it myself to save a few euros. A choice I quickly regretted while squashed back inside that cupboard. I’d arms twisted to inhuman angles, trying tighten a clip with a torch in my mouth and a single finger able to reach the screwdriver (a slight exaggeration for effect). Result: the tap works! The pipes are dry! The water flows better than the old one, so we feel we’re a little ‘up’ on the situation.

Other than that we (touches wood) are good to go. We’ve almost a month free, and not a single plan. Our engine has done 150,000km now and makes a number of odd noises which freak us out every time we start a new trip, before we gradually get used to them. The fridge was temperamental on gas for years until we relented and got the experts to fettle it, and now works flawlessly. The heater and SOG unit are both working as they should, and we’ve a PopIt Mobile 100GB SIM card in our router, all working well. Allez-y!

We’re currently installed in the free aire at Montreuil-sur-Mer, a short drive from the dealer we got the tap from, just in case we had to return. Oddly named these days, since it’s about 10 miles from the sea, in Roman times the town was an important sea estuary port. It was located on what’s now the English Channel. Over the years the sea has retreated and the entire town’s been converted into a giant fortification. We’d previously stayed here in 2018 when Ju had a run around the town walls, the series of high walls and towers offer great views of the surrounding countryside.

The free motorhome aire at Montreuil-sur-Mer, right by the town walls
The free motorhome aire at Montreuil-sur-Mer, right by the town walls
Chickens (€25) and ducks (€50) for sale at the Montreuil-sur-Mer market
Chickens (€25) and ducks (€50) for sale at the Montreuil-sur-Mer market

We just happened to arrive on a day access to one chargeable area, the old citadel is ‘libre’, free. We piled in to enjoy looking around and having a go on a trebuchet (a wooden seize engine), which dumped me and my fellow (French) rope-puller onto our butts on the grass, flinging the plastic ‘cannonball’ all of about 20 metres. We clasped hands in triumph nevertheless. The town was used by the British in the Great War as a headquarters. In the huge, dark, underground casemates we read about the conditions here and in nearby hospitals and training camps.

Inside the casemates of the Montreuil-sur-Mer citadel. The photo is of the huge military cemetary at Étaples
Inside the casemates of the Montreuil-sur-Mer citadel. The photo is of the huge military cemetary at Étaples
Part of the Montreuil-sur-Mer wall-top path has sadly collapsed
Part of the Montreuil-sur-Mer wall-top path has sadly collapsed
Archery practice in the citadel, using a photo of a lion and various animals for targets. Welcome to France - can't imagine this scene back in Blighty?
Archery practice in the citadel, using a photo of a lion and various animals for targets. Welcome to France – can’t imagine this scene back in Blighty?

On the way home ying turned to yang, and a cash machine ate Ju’s debit card. It claimed to be handing out €20, and made all the right churning, cash-machiney noises, but withheld both funds and plastic. A sign on the door said the bank opened again in three days. We tried calling a couple of numbers before giving up. Fortunately we’ve other cards we can use, so cancelled the nabbed one and headed back to the van to flick the tap on and off a few times.

Scene of the crime! The cash machine which munched our debit card
Scene of the crime! The cash machine which munched our debit card

So, there we go. We’re ‘out’ as we say. Over the autumn and winter our long-term tenant left and we decided to move from the Cooler (the outbuilding attached to our house) back to the main house. With next to no furniture, we rented a van, enrolled the help of a mate and sourced a bed, wardrobe, sofas, chests of drawers, coffee table and TV cabinets all in one giant pick-up-a-thon, all second hand.

After many years we once again have a bath, our own parking space and enough room to swing quite a large cat. After we’d stripped out wardrobes and cupboards from the Cooler, we redecorated it, cleaned it to within an inch of our lives, installed the ‘new’ furniture, re-badged it ‘The Kimberley Hideaway’ and popped it on AirBnB. It proved more popular than we’d expected, and was let out roughly 50% of the time for mostly one and two night stays. We became ‘superhosts’ just before we left, but have made it unavailable for the time we’re away (it’s not cost-effective for us to pay a cleaner). It’ll hopefully be a handy way for us to earn a few extra pounds in the coming years, reducing how much we need to withdraw from share funds and pensions.

I threw myself at marathon training over the winter too, having secured a place in the London Marathon again. It’s massively popular, with over 600,000 people applying for roughly 40,000 ballot places, it can take several years to be successful. Luckily for me, they have a ‘good for age’ scheme, and I was able to run the 2023 event fast enough to get into the 2024 one. At 50 years old I’d done that run in 3 hours, 3 mins and 33 seconds, and was determined to get under 3 hours this year. I ran 900 miles in training over a four month period and everything was looking good. On the day I just didn’t feel good though and came over the line in 3 hours, 1 min and 32 seconds. A personal best, but 93 seconds shy of the coveted ‘sub 3’. Maybe next year!?

London Marathon 2024 The Mall
Coming down The Mall at the 2024 London Marathon thinking ‘thank god that’s over’!

Right, time to test the tap again and have another cuppa while we pull out the map and suss where we’re heading. I don’t think either of us much care, to be honest. We’re just happy to be back in the van for a while, care-free (ish!) and with a working tap.

Cheers, Jay

16 replies
  1. Catherine Young says:

    Freedom for a few weeks is more appreciated when time is precious and family need support. We returned on a Sunday a couple of weeks ago and Montreuil was choc a bloc! Enjoy your trip! 🚐❤️

    Reply
    • Jason says:

      Thanks Catherine – very true – it’s busy now, we got the last space and there are quite a few in the car park next door. ❤️ Jay

      Reply
  2. Toby Craig says:

    Well done on your marathon time. From a fellow 50+ runner that’s a seriously quick time, but I’m sure you can find the 93secs you need for a sub 3. Love the blog. Happy touring.

    Reply
  3. Frank says:

    Hello both, nice to read your back on the road. Look forward to a few more posts – maybe.

    We leave NZ in a few weeks and commence another 12 weeks in France and Spain.

    Happy touring, from NZ.

    Reply
  4. Colin Bone says:

    Great that you are back in the van, spring time in France, lovely, stuck in a cupboard fixing a leak not so but all part of the fun.

    Explore, chill out and enjoy your freedom I enjoy reading about your adventures.

    Thank you.

    Reply
  5. Glyn says:

    Good to see you back on the road again. Interested to see your travels in France to get some tips as we will be heading there again later in the year.
    Enjoy!

    Reply
  6. Chris says:

    It’s wonderful to hear that you’re back on the road. Have missed your travels.

    Can’t wait to be back in France again in three weeks. A country we never tire of.

    Safe journeys ahead. Enjoy

    Reply
  7. Tim says:

    Have fun guys. Don’t forget about “France Passion”. We were lapsed members when we toured France last year but we stopped at a few sites from our old book and were never asked for membership cards. Owners are just happy to have you spending money on produce.

    Reply
    • Jason says:

      Cheers Tim, sadly our France Passion book.was about a decade old! We’re not sure if we’ll stay in France so didn’t buy a new one. There are a few places on park4night which offer overnight stops in a similar way outside the scheme so we’ll keep an eye out for them. Cheers, thanks for the message, Jay

      Reply
  8. Swathi Biswanath says:

    Happy to see you touring France again! Congrats to Jay on the fantastic marathon PB. How does it feel to live in a house after years in cooler and a van?

    Reply
    • Jason says:

      Thanks Swathi – it feels very spacious! Like there’s way too much room. It’ll take us some time to get used to it I think – like when one comes home they can’t immediately see the other so we don’t know if they’re in or not. Or the fact one of us can go upstairs and do some pilates without the other having to sit out of the way. Or family being able to come round without being sat a few feet from us – far more comfortable for them I feel. We’re enjoying it though, it feels good. Cheers, Jay

      Reply

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