Contemplating Ale in Malmö, Sweden

Zagan the motorhome’s sat facing the Øresund (Danish) or Öresund (Swedish) straight, parked in a marina-side husbilsplat (a Swedish motorhome aire) about 5km from downtown Malmö (N55.59582, E12.93299). It’s 180 SEK a night to stay here (about £17), including electricity, WiFi and access to showers and washing machines. We’re booked in for a couple of nights, then we’re scooting off to explore Denmark.

The motorhome husbilsplat about 5km from downtown Malmö

Plenty other motorhomes here – all Swedish, more arriving every hour

The service point’s in the aire area. The washing machines, loos and showers are in the marina behind us. The Turning Torso – Sweden’s tallest building – is in the background

Since arriving in Scandinavia back in June, over three months ago, I’ve probably drunk less than most other times in my adult life. Why? Because it’s so damned expensive, goddam it! A pint sat outside a bar in Tromsø would set us back at least a tenner, some places closer to fifteen quid. Across the world, only Iceland taxes alcohol more heavily than Norway. The idea is to make us drink less, and for me I have to admit it worked, at least in the short term. How well it works for the locals, who are reputed to have illegal stills tucked away in every corner of their fjord, forest or lake paradises, or who nip across into neighbouring countries to stock up in huge retail parks, is a mystery. I, for one, am only slightly ashamed to admit I’m looking forward to getting back into ‘ale normality’ in Denmark, which has no state monopoly on ale, and ‘only’ taxes it at about the same level as the UK. Carlsberg: get brewing fellas, I’m on my way.

Outta my way moosy, Denmark’s calling. We also passed warning signs for wild pigs and ducks.

Seriously though, we’re not legging it across Sweden faster than Usain Bolt on a cheetah just so I can get a cheap, cold, delicious, refreshing, hoppy concoction down my neck. We’re not much feeling the love for the place. Why? Dunno. It certainly feels safe. The other day we were halfway walking through a collection of school buildings when we realised there was no fence surrounding the place, as we’ve become used to into the UK. We slept last night in the IKEA museum car park, Saturday night, close to the centre of town. No drunks shouting (see above), no neds racing cars about, no banging tunes, all calm and quiet. Nah, if anything Sweden feels boringly safe. I know, there’s no pleasing me, after a few months in Italy or Morocco I need out to somewhere less frenetic. Seems after a few months in Scandinavia I need somewhere more lively?

Windmill on the way here

In our defence, we did try to find somewhere to stay in Lund so we could go see the cathedral, but after consulting all our usual books and databases, and some Swedish ones, then trying to divine instruction from the tea leaves, we gave up. Motorhome parking’s a mixed bag in Sweden, if you don’t use campsites. We’ve had massive luck in Stockholm, but in other cities just couldn’t find anywhere we wanted to stay, and as this tour’s drawing to a close, we’ve opted to spend more time in Denmark as it sounds like it’ll suit us better.

Someone’s not going to be happy when they finally get back to their boat…

As we arrived in Malmö we looked at the satnav: 5km to the aire. Hmmm, even here where there is a great aire to stay at, the place is 3 miles from the centre. The marina office behind us is closed today, but apparently they’ll rent out bikes tomorrow, so we’ll see how the weather is and nip into downtown Malmö if the planets align. Today we’ve had a wander around the waterfront here, which is currently being transformed from concrete-industrial to a suburban apartment-scape.

From this…

To this…

Behind me the Öresund bridge and tunnel have linked up Sweden with Denmark since the year 2000, creating a weird cross-nation conglomeration of cities where Danes live in Sweden and work in Denmark. For a bit of fun, I just played with Google Maps to guess the driving distance between Copenhagen and Malmö if you couldn’t use the bridge, or any ferries. The 40km route turns in a 5000km one, down into Germany, across Poland and the Baltic States, into Russia, up Finland and finally back the length of Sweden, some commute.

The Öresund bridge seen from Malmo

This chap has EVERYTHING on his boat, including two jet skis and a dog

The well-heeled in Malmo

Plaque next to the boat above – presumably for a passed away pooch friend

Right-o, the skies are grey above me, but there are patches of blue and the wind’s halted the howling. Finger’s crossed for decent weather tomorrow to tempt us into a final day’s Swedish city exploration.

Cheers, Jay