Should We Stay, or Should We Go?
Back in 2011 when we published a video of Charlie going through the ultimate dog dilemma, I never thought we would be in a similar situation, but that is what happened to us last week. If you haven’t seen the video of Charlie, you can watch it below, and see his mind whirring as he tries to decide if he should keep hold of his new favourite stick, which he’d just carried back to the van, or put it down and eat a treat.
Granted, we didn’t quite have sticks in our mouths, but we were very, very tempted by a big, juicy treat – Jay was offered a six month contract. Jay’s background is in IT Project Management, which is a lucrative business to be in. When we returned to the UK last July he took on a three month contract, which turned into four months, but that’s the nature of what he does, contracts frequently get extended. He probably could still be on his umpteenth contract extension, but we decided in December that enough was enough. I wanted my happy hubby back, and while he was at work I was tip-toeing around a stressed-out, grumpy man who was experiencing chest pains and, of all things numb hands at night.
Since finishing his contact Jay has struggled to find something to fill his time and give him a sense of fulfilment. Neither of us felt ready to hit the road again, in fact it was starting to feel like something we were doing due to our inability to think of anything else. When the contract offer came along, it sent us into a bit of a tailspin. At first I was dead against it, I only needed to read some old blog posts, or look at photos on my phone of a countdown we drew up to the end of his last contract, to remember how it made us feel. Jay on the other hand was curious, he asked for more information, and as we thought it would result in a decent chunk of money – enough to fund more than a year of our current lifestyle.
We retreated to our favourite place to discuss future life plans, and after several pints in the local we were leaning towards staying, earning the money and ring-fencing it for adventures further afield once Charlie is no longer with us (as he doesn’t understand aeroplanes!). Prices were sought for flights to Australia, overlanding across Africa and all sorts of other adventures on our bucket lists. I don’t think this helped, as we ended up blowing the whole thing up into much more than it should have been. Instead of a question about the next six months, it became a decision about the rest of our lives, our attitudes to money and our work ethics. For nearly a week we swung from staying, to going, back to staying. Positive and negative lists were drawn up as we spun round and around, often finding that we were opposite sides of the decision.
Our current financial situation gives us freedom, we can work if we want, or choose not to. If we don’t work, we have enough money coming in to cover our bills and day to day living expenses, but not much else. More money would enable us to do more adventurous trips as I mentioned above, but one thing we realised when we were striving for financial freedom is that you can never have enough. “I just need to stay in my job for another year”, or “I only need another £x00k in the bank”, is something we often hear from people wanting financial independence, and usually it’s an arbitrary figure or timescale with no numbers behind it. It’s very, very hard to turn off the pipe of money that comes from having a job, I believe it’s the final ‘hump’ that you need to get over before you get financial freedom, and stopping it from being switched back on was equally as hard.
Eventually we decided, at the same time, that health and happiness are more important and the contract was turned down. Before we could change our minds, again, we booked the ferry – and opted for a non-changeable ticket.
Charlie is ready to go
So, on the 24th of April we’re off, back to Plan A and some sunshine. Zagan has been washed and is now being slowly repacked ahead of a shakedown to make sure everything has survived the cold winter – he’s not used to those. I suspect I know what Charlie’s choice would have been if he had a say in us staying or going – he loves a beach – but at least we now have a little insight into what he was going through in his dog dilemma.
Ju x
That was the right decision!
Sorry that I’m picking this item of all the deep things in this post. How did J get rid of his hands going numb at night? It’s happening to me and I am worried.
PS – Glad you’re hitting the road again. 😁
Hi Swathi. The GP thought it was carpal tunnel syndrome, but they have me a steroid injection which made no difference, and coupled with the fact my little fingers were equally affected, they ruled out CTS. They think it’s an old upper back problem I have which gets bad when I sit at a desk for hours. Nerves run through that area and down the arms, and they think the muscle is affecting them. I had some physio but still get the problem. There could be tons of causes – best go see a doctor. Cheers, Jay
Very interesting- I’ve been following you for a fair long time. Retired last June with a tiny pension but with income from a house in Spain I rent out and a lump sum for paying off the mortgage and a few adventures- enough for a 3 week trip to the US plus a camper van or living in Greece or whatever takes our fancy. No big trips after that though but tootles round Europe possible in the van. We can just about manage and would be luckier than many people. Then just as it was all planned I got a potential job offer that would enable us to do the things you talked about- bigger trips, more adventures, a wider world. I would have to work just two years more (in a job I like a lot.)But when does just two years more become three or four? I’m selfishly glad you made your decision and look forward to reading about your new travels!
Thank you for continuing to share your thoughts and experiences as you travel, or don’t travel, around.
After reading your earlier blogs it seemed as though your were living the dream – which I guess you were then but, and it’s obviously a BIG but, that feeling doesn’t always seem to last.
Pleased you are putting your health, happiness and Charlie first – I hope your next trip is all you want it to be.
Best wishes
Ann
Will look forward to your new adventure you never know what is around the corner in life to stop you enjoying what time you have. we all need to make the best of every day if you can do it then do it wishing you all the best of luck Steve and mandi.
Good choice! I stayed an extra 3 years at BA but now realise I would have been much happier travelling.
Dear Jay and Ju,
A very hard decision to make on several levels, not just financially but also for Jays need to be purposefully occupied and challenged. The forthcoming trip may not be the answer to everything but it will give you space and time to think things through. If nothing else think of all the pleasure you will be giving to those of us who love reading your blog and following your adventures.
Bon Voyage.
Dave
I’m sure I speak for all blog readers when I say great news and am sure you’ll soon be back to a more healthy relaxed lifestyle.
Hi Julie & Jason
Good decision, our ferry is on the 22nd heading for the sun.
Ian & Gill
I love that picture of Charlie! We’re off to Mallorca next week after the winter season wraps up. Fancy a trip to the Balearics?!
In the end the decision is yours to make, as it should be. My son once worked for Toyota and the money was very good but the job wasn’t very interesting. One of his bosses said to him one day. Don’t forget to quit. I’ve Always remembered that when it came time to stay or go. There is an exciting world out there as you well know. Enjoy the ride.
Your health is your wealth Julie. Good luck. We are off to Villamoura for five weeks .last year when we were there the weather was horrendous.lets hope it will be better this time.
To my mind, a good decision. If work affects Jay so badly and, as a knock on effect, you too Ju., then a summer in the sun in Zagan is obviously the right choice. I look forward to the blog posts.
Oh, Ju! Go, go go … is a wise decision! I remember a post where Jay was asking, no, begging his readers to stop him taking up another contract… ;-))
Enjoy your next trip! We’ll enjoy your posts!
Good Call. My contract finishes in June and hoping to start the next phase of my life after this.
off on may 26 for year of Europe and morocco.might see you on our travels.
Good decision- it’s all about being healthy and happy. Money’s good but nothing beats happiness and good health. Looking forward to reading more of your travels. ‘Money fills your pockets but travel fills your soul’
Motoroamers have just released a blog about returning back to the UK before setting off again, which you might find interesting. They have started to house sit in Europe, travelling between each booking.
http://motoroaming.com/journey-back-blighty/
Maybe Jay needs a purpose to your travelling to keep him busy, rather than wandering aimlessly. I hope you carry on with your great blogs, which I often refer to. Have you thought of You Tube blogging? It can be a big time commitment (editing) but also brings in an income stream.
Good luck on your new travels and enjoy your time with Charlie
What a dilemma!
Just sitting here in a wood in Sardinia, thinking which way would we have chosen?
It’s was the way you chose for you.
On a purely selfish level, I’m really glad you decided to get back on the road. Your blog is like my favourite book. You both write really well, and I’ve been waiting for the next chapter for ages 😉
In other news, we are now the very proud owners of a 1991 Hymer B544, Charles M Hymer Esq, named after this cool wee spaniel who sometimes lives in a Hymer, but known as ‘Chuck’ after our American friend who took us away on our first motorhome adventure in Northern Michigan about 8 years ago and where we got ‘the bug’.
Happy travels. Maybe we’ll see you on the road somewhere.
Brilliant, looking forward to your blogs. It takes balls to cut off an income stream, respect. We’ve been trying to get off the tread mill for a few years now, but this year we’re doing it!
Isn’t being (semi) retired a wonderful thing? Just enough time to choose to do as much as you please, just enough money to fund doing it and a new challenge (big or small) always on the horizon to spur you on. Suits me too!
Great blog to keep an eye on an ex boss btw and for those of us who prefer not to adventure too much to experience some of the world through your eyes.
Regards to Charlie, it goes to show that you can have the best of both worlds!
Enjoy your travels and challenges.
Cheers Ian, good to hear from you! We can’t complain: our biggest challenge is working out what we want to do: most folks would kill for that problem! Take it easy, cheers, Jay
Looking forward to hearing about your next trip, I’m sure it will justify your decision.
On another note, I was reading a old blog where you recommended a pdf cook book which you had contributed to. I’m afraid the link to the download no longer works. Is there another way of accessing it? Cheers
Yes it’s a selfish me that is glad you’re back and already I’m looking forward to your next blog….but health and well-being come first but so often we get caught up in work and the rewards and it falls by the wayside. There will be other offers, health first!
We (Lee & Angeline at gohumberto.com) will be following your latest adventure. Some unexpected health issues have scuppered our full-timing plans for the next few months but we hope to be in France for a few weeks in June/July.
I’m hoping to shed 10Kg so I can get my bike up some of the Alpine climbs out of Bourg d’Oisins, near Grenoble.
I’d like to meet up and discuss what to do with my pension pot as it’s not doing very much at the moment.
See you out there…
Lee at http://www.gohumberto.com (going stir crazy.. I need to get travelling and blogging again)
Long time reader, first time commenter. Yours is one of my favourite blogs. Was rooting for you to choose “go” and so glad you did. You won’t regret it, there will always be another contact if you want one.
Looking forward to more vicarious living with your posts over next few months. Enjoy!
Right decision! (This time). Perhaps it wouldn’t have been if you’d been on the road and had been for some time? Change is important, especially if your physical or mental health is at risk. I know ” having a purpose” is also important to you – never forget how many people rely on your blog for a source of valuable inspiration and information!
..and the money thing. We too, feel we can just about afford to travel Europe in the van, but bigger adventures, further afield, are definitely beyond budget. But! our budget is half yours (we talked about it) – what does that tell you? Everybody always thinks they need that little bit more. It is rarely true!
Best wishes to you both. Hope to bump into you again some time.
Peter and Elaine.
Thanks guys – hope to bump into you two again too! Cheers, Jason
Wise decision in our opinion. Health should always win over money, but sometimes it is hard to realise that. Big stroke for Charlie